You Heard that Right–Monsters of Winnipeg!!

For my last post for a while (at least March or May of 2017) I saved the best for last. For Christmas for Justin I FINALLY fulfilled a long time dream of actually procuring real, original Monsters of Winnipeg from eBay. (I had never used eBay before.) If you remember I tried once to purchase these art figures directly from Cereal Art when they were released and my order was “cancelled.” (They oversold and decided famous collectors like Brad Pitt should have their orders fulfilled. Whatever.)

So, much to my surprise, when I was googling around for them again last August, they showed up on eBay, NOT for a million dollars.

So, now we actually own Sea Snake Man and Tree Man. So, that’s that.

Sea Snake Man Monsters of WinnipegTree Man Monsters of WinnipegOne day Margot will inherit these. Maybe they can befriend her classic movie monster action figures and all live in a haunted house doll house together. For now, Justin says they are not coming out of the packaging. For now, along with Castle Greyskull they are just proof of how epically I love my husband.

Until next time, Justin will continue to collect action figures . . . and I will almost, sometimes listen to him.

Scary Guy with Spikes

scary looking guy with spikesWho is this guy? He is scary and has spikes. Other than that, I have nothing. His sculpt is much too intricate for MOTUC and he looks too sturdy for Neca. (Sorry Neca!) So . . . I’m guessing this is an import, which is also less than helpful. All I know is that if it came down to it and this creepy guy with his skull throne, I would prefer Skeletor to him any day.

I <3 Skeletor always.

Cthulhu and Blonde Man

Cthulhu Blonde action figure Jason in ExpeditHere is another example of how crazy the Expedit has gotten recently during our bouts of child proofing. Our daughter is REALLY REALLY tall. (Like off the height percentile, greater than 99 percentile tall.) So, things in the “Library of Babel of Action Figures” are constantly moving. Here is an example of Jason, Clowns from Outer Space, and a Blonde man riding Cthulhu all inhabiting the same Expedit box. I am also reasonably certain that the blonde man is Aquaman. I feel like Justin would be really proud if I am correct. However, I am somewhat confused by Aquaman being blonde. I thought that the guy from Entourage was always trying to be Aquaman in the show. I thought it was like this unicorn movie that he never got to make. (Disclaimer: I have never actually watched Entourage.) But that guy definitely has dark hair, so maybe this isn’t Aquaman after all. At any event, it has to be someone pretty crazy or powerful because we all know that Cthulhu is no joke. I guess if you are a superhero this is some kind of “swimming with the dolphins.” Either way Cthulhu does not look impressed. I’m actually a bit worried for Jason in this scenario. I don’t think there are any Great Old Ones in Crystal Lake.

Batman with LED Eyes and Some Guy with Nunchuks?

batman-with-led-eyesHere you can clearly see a Batman figure who actually has LED light-up eyes. Also, there is some guy with nunchuks? I think rather than a giant blue disc, the accessory sculpt is meant to invoke a sense of action– spinning, if you will. Also, I think he may be a Battle Cat? I don’t know what that is, but my husband was VERY impressed by both of these action figures.

While I don’t have many feelings about either the Blue Guy or Batman with LED eyes, I do feel sentimental knowing that our daughter is being raised with an appreciation for superheroes. Along with her camper of Little People she also received a set of Little People figures all dressed up as superheroes (Batman, Superman, etc.) for Christmas. While the sculpts on these figures clearly leave something to be desired (Superman looks like Elvis,) and they have like 0 points of articulation (though Margot tries,) I LOVE that our little toddler will pick one up, make it fly through the air in her hand, and create a “fwoosh” flying sound. I also love how when I was packing the toy up from traveling I said to my husband, “we are missing one,” and he said “aww, you’ve already learned who is in this pack!” Then I said, “No. I just know there are 7. I just count them.” It is up to Margot to learn their names. She will probably not inherit that knowledge from me.

Friday the 13th

By now I am sure that it is completely apparent that Friday the 13th holds a special and sentimental place in my heart. However, I thought I would start this burst of posts (most likely the last ones before either spring break or the end of the spring 2017 semester) with a belated Happy Friday the 13th!

Little People playset with Jason in window

While the above tableaux does not involve all action figures, I suppose strictly speaking, it does capture the feeling of Friday the 13th. Typically Jason is peaking around bottles, containers, and other actions figures at one edge of our kitchen counter, but for Friday the 13th my husband arranged this camper scene with one of Margot’s new Christmas toys. We also chose to watch Jason Takes Manhattan. It was as great as you would assume. By morning, when our daughter was awake her happy camper people were back in her play space . . . minus the vengeful slasher character.

This Totally Appropriate Gaping Skull Man

Finally, to conclude this mid-semester batch of posts for Action Figures My Husband Collects (AFMHC), I will leave you with this TOTALLY appropriate gaping skull man:

Skull Man Who is Not Skeletor

I also thought of naming this post “Skull Man Who is Not Skeletor.”

Let’s review: 1) Skeletor has a social media site full of inspirational sayings. 2) Skeletor is blue, fanciful, and you are secretly rooting for him. 3) Skeletor has a Christmas special, and 4) Skeletor LOVES PUPPIES. I severely doubt if this gaping skull man, who is not Skeletor, loves puppies. It looks like he loves nightmares. It looks like he is saying “I love to give you nightmares that wake you up at 3:30am, 5:30am, and 6:05am,” Justin. Seriously. This may not be a winning example of “child proofing.”

However, in all fairness, this was not displayed in front of our anachronistically ancient Sony tube television. It was buried under an authentic, vinyl, movie-quality Michael Myers mask. Yep. At some level Justin decided that the image of a Michael Myers mask WITH. HAIR. was more appropriate. And he is right. I guess. Maybe.

Because this is my last post for another 4-5 months though, because we will be celebrating 10 years of dating this November, and because this blog was always in part a love letter to my husband and proof that I sort of sometimes listen to what he says, let me just conclude by saying that if there is one thing I have learned by being a parent for about a second now, it is that I am not always right. I am not always right to think that things have to be my way. I am not always right to think that I even have a way or system that makes sense. So, if our daughter grows up around Skeletor, Scooby Doo, and some potentially creepy action figures, maybe that’s just fine. Maybe non-normative human forms will make Margot more accepting of different characters and more willing to push on the boundaries of “what is human” and “what is villain.” Or maybe not. Who knows. Maybe we will just have to wait and see until she starts telling us things– like “I like” and “I do not like.” That is the next milestone. I for one cannot wait to increasingly find out more about what she thinks about the world, and of course, what she thinks about the action figures my husband collects.

Until next time. In about 4-5 months. Seriously, because I will be collecting another 41 First Year Composition drafts any day now. In the meantime, I’m happy to be caught up, if only for a moment. Happy mid-semester y’all!


Is This a Power Ranger??!

Is this a Power Ranger??!

Green and Gold Power Ranger

If this is a Power Ranger, I am glad that he appears to be doing some sort of yoga, like a triangle or warrior pose. I am just kidding. The only thing I am worse about knowing anything about than action figures is yoga. I tried it exactly one time and I was so horrible that out of respect to the other people present I never went back.

I am not sure what this green and gold Power Ranger is doing really though. I do not always understand the “ready to go” pose. (See the “grey hulk” post– “why are we such good dancers?”)

I am sure that when Justin comes home from work tonight he will let me know if this is a Power Ranger. Until then, I will be in suspense.


Heath Ledger Joker

I do not believe this is in any way connected to the recent release of the film, Suicide Squad, but one of the more impressive new additions to my husband’s collection is a Heath Ledger sculpt of the Joker.

Heath Ledger Joker from Right Side ViewHere is another view from more directly in the front of the Expedit square:

Front View Heath Ledger JokerThese photos do not really do the resemblance and sculpt of this figure justice. His coat has a very pliant, almost vinyl-like feel. His pin-stripe pants are impeccable, and the facial features are expressive and sinister.

However, in a sort of Bizarro world of repetition, he is surrounded by Batmen. The Batman more prominently shown in in this photo looks like a much older version of Batman. His cape is soft fabric, and his arms, (I believe) are immobile. (Do not worry, Justin, I did not try to move him.) I mention this only because (I believe) there was a very lengthy back-story to my husband’s acquisition of this particular Batman, who came broken in the package, and resulted in Justin shaving off a misplaced elbow and then having to superglue his arms in a dynamic, but now immobile position. I cannot be sure, because I was only half listening. However, perhaps this explains the position and posture of this Batman– partway between an ascent to flight and a hug.

Regardless, the Joker seems to be all business. While he is inexplicably threatening some pixelated Mario Brothers figures that may have been placed out of reach, the Joker is the center point because he is a tribute figure. I am not always extremely serious or reverent about my husband’s collection of action figures, but I do like that for the few that pay tribute to people, Justin affords them the dignity of a special focal point. I like that his care for plastic, which I mock at times, extends to an authentic ideology of care for people.

This Orange and Blue Guy

orange and blue guy iron man?

This orange and blue guy looks like he could be an Iron Man? Is he hanging out with Captain America? The grey/silver guy looks like an Iron Man, too. So, I am guessing this orange and blue guy is definitely an Iron Man. Why are there two Iron People?

Also, unfortunately, that is Spider Gremlin lurking behind what I think might be a mostly Marvel square of the Expedit. I cannot be sure, though, since the action figures have been grossly and speedily reorganized recently. This reorganization has been prompted by the fact that in the last month our now 16-month-old daughter, Margot, has learned to walk. In a bid for both the action figures’ safety and Margot’s safety from small detachable pieces, the figures have been relocated in hasty arrangements to be out of a reach of a tiny human who comfortably stands 32″, but has an incredible reach of at least 3 feet. What this means for Justin is that figures have either been packed away, moved higher, condensed, and/or now occupy completely different squares of the Expedit or shelves (see “library of babel of action figures.”) What this means for Margot is that bliss is just out of reach. What this means for me is that previous configurations and proximities of action figures no longer provide any context cues for universes or alliances. Hence the Spider Gremlin.

So, in conclusion, I am reasonably confident that this orange and blue guy is an Iron Man or the Iron Man in a different Iron Man suit. I’m just not sure why.

Deadpool with Taco

Deadpool holding a taco and staring at it

This morning I told my husband that I intended to make a mid-semester batch of posts on my blog. He suggested that I review Deadpool for this round of action figures. I imagine he suggested this because he knew that I know who Deadpool is. Also, he knew I would NOT choose to review his Election Day Garbage Pail Kids. He was right. I still actively dislike GPK about as much as we all cannot wait for this election season to be over. What I did not know was that Deadpool would be holding a taco. In general I do not like to allow Justin to influence my action figure selection process directly, but I do like tacos. Tacos for the win.

Additionally, in all fairness to this figure, he is extremely well-sculpted and articulate. The taco is detachable from his hand. The taco has distinct lettuce, beef, and cheese coloration and sculpt. Deadpool has been lovingly posed (see “ready to go”) in a fashion where he is staring ponderously at the taco.

Other than that, I do not have much to add about my feelings on Deadpool. I did in fact watch the movie, which is the only reason why this post is accurately titled “Deadpool” and not “Dead Poole” (until the origin story I imagined Poole like a proper name.) Also, it is the only reason why it isn’t instead titled “Red Ninja Man with Taco.” I know that Deadpool is a Marvel character, and I don’t particularly like him. This will never be quite as damning as my dislike for The Walking Dead or my inability to remember the male elf character’s name from Zelda. But close.